FD001: you’re a ho such a ho a dirty ho
FD002: i love you because you cook me dinner.
FD003: i love you because you let me go shopping.
FD004: i love you because you let me watch sports.
FD005: happy birthday! you look fantastic for your age.
FD006: fabulous! you’re finally out of the closet.
FD007: a new home! i know of a good handyman.
FD008: a new baby! have fun changing diapers.
FD009: thanks for nothing.
FD010: congratulations we never thought you’d actually make it.
FD011: on your wedding day may you not get cold feet.
FD012: on your wedding day may you not be hung over.
FD013: bravo on your divorce.
FD014: here comes peter cottontail grab yer gun.
FD015: a baby on the way! pull it together.
FD016: you're engaged! elope.
